Partly sunny with 100 percent chances of rain.

As I try to collect my thoughts and share with you all that happened today I find myself at a loss for words.  We had many silver linings today but around heavy clouds that produced a lot of rain.

My first silver lining was a call from my aunt in Australia who shared her 30 years experience in oncology and palliative care with me.  What she shared was invaluable and greatly appreciated but I couldn’t help but cry a few times when having to admit just how much Bernadette is suffering these days.   But she gave me a lesson on Morphine and how much it can help Bernadette if we give it to her on a regular basis.  Dr. Weicker said the same thing but we didn’t have that much so we were using it sparingly.  It appears now that we should be using it regularly instead.  So with a few doses today we noticed a big difference.  Her jumpy legs were not so severe, her mood improved so much every member of the family commented on it, she played well all day, and her appetite increased a little.  She was even thinking of others over herself which is beautiful.   She was playing a shopping game on a Jumpstart app and as she picked the different items to add to her cart she’d say things like, “What would Catherine like?”  or “I’ll pick tomatoes because I know Daddy likes tomatoes.”   She even waited a fair length of time to watch a show on the big TV because Joseph and Johanna were playing on the Wii.  Then she watched a show Catherine wanted just in case Catherine missed some episodes she’d watched without her.  Then after one episode she asked Catherine if it was okay if she took a break and she returned to her iPad to play.  It really was so cute!    She didn’t sleep all day until we prayed the Rosary and she slept right through it, woke up for a minute to get comfortable and went right back to sleep.  She’s sleeping now even.

The other silver lining was the blood work came back that her hemoglobin was higher than two weeks ago, just by a smig, but it means no blood transfusion needed.  From what my aunt was saying, her biggest difficulty right now is pain control and we’re now working on that in a more efficient manner.  Dr. Weicker also said her liver function tests continue to remain stable but the other numbers took a jump up.  I can’t say as I understand the tests well enough to explain them to you but the numbers going up is not a good sign if I understand correctly.  Made my heart sink a little more and caused more rain.  That darn rain!!!!

Tonight Joseph gets a break from the night shift.  He has a ski race he’s agreed to help with tomorrow so Wilma is coming to be with Bernadette through the night.  Given the time she’s arriving it gives Johanna a break from the 11:00pm – 2:00am shift too!  Just means Marc or I should get up a little earlier tomorrow so Wilma can go home and get some sleep.    Sarah, a nurse whose use to come Tuesday and Thursday evenings will be coming to do one night shift a week starting Tuesday.  That will give the big kids a little more of a break which will be cool.

Tomorrow Dr. Weicker comes in the morning and we’ll be discussing the possibility of a Vitamin C IV treatment.  I didn’t realize that there was a naturopath in Salmon Arm who does Vitamin C IV treatments or I would have contacted him months ago.  Another cause for rain.  I just pray that it’s not too late to try it.  The double silver lining around that black cloud is the naturopath doctor even said he’d come to the house and treat Bernadette here!  Isn’t that the most wonderful and amazing thing.  Two doctors who do house calls – in today’s day and age.   Bernadette is one very blessed little girl!